Writing that all out made me feel fifty pounds lighter.
The topic of selflessness has been keeping me up nights. Well really, selflessness is what puts me to sleep—that idea of goodness and commitment to community and other people. It’s selfishness that’s been keeping me up. Thinking on how selfishness is our main motivator as people. Our genetically encoded self involvement is what keeps us alive, it’s what keeps us fed, makes sure we find shelter. But lately I can’t stop seeing selfishness in just about every interaction.
We make friends because we want to enjoy ourselves. We work hard to live comfortably. We find love because we don’t want to be alone. There’s just so little that we do that isn’t to directly benefit ourselves. And it’s not like it’s illogical. Every individual must be self serving in order to survive. Individuals that don’t serve their own needs die, it’s evolutionary principle. But as evolved humans capable of emotional depth and critical thinking, we still are constantly living to make ourselves happy.
I’ve always been so positive and sheltered that I’ve ignored how self involved everyone is, including myself.
Putting more stock in family, and more value on friendship seems like a way to feel more outside my self. Volunteering more often would help me feel more selfless. Taking a deep breath and remembering that I’m just a small part of a big world would probably help too.